Message to my Sister

Right from the start, you look down on what im doing. No matter how many times i tried to say, honestly, im tired
of explaning and no, i don't want to say much anymore. If you can comprehend what im trying to say, i don't have
to say so many times.
Since im young i don't get any support from any of you, but it's fine. I can prove what i want to do is right.
Im not your 12 year old brother anymore thanks.

I already told you to change your way of speaking. It xxxxxxx irritates me by the tone and way you are talking.
You straight away ask me, don't do this don't do that. Ask me straight away delay my thing. HAD YOU EVER THINK IN
MY SHOES? NO! Why cant you explain the scenario and ask me if i have any solution or not FIRST? Im telling you again,
I DECIDE MY PATH, NOT YOU.

You didn't even tell me the date you are going, you are going for a ***** 1 wk and you ask me to delay for a month.
Can you think straight? I may be possible to work harder for that certain period so i may be able to excuse myself
for this short period. DID YOU THINK WHAT IM TRYING TO DO? NO. You will only complain what im selfish all this shit
but did you ever think in my shoes? No. You think and you assume what you always think is right. Sorry but that's
not my way.

You think i don't want to let you go for holidays? Bullshit. You think im selfish? BUllshit. You only think you
want to go for holidays and you want me commit and adjust to your schedule. Who is the one that is selfish now?
PLEASE THINK ABOUT it. It all comes down to your way of talking. Ask yourself, do you sound like you are asking
me for help? NO! YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE COMMANDING WHAT TO DO FOR YOUR SAKE.

Long long time ago, i already asked you to look for people then i can teach that person what to do and etc, did
you do that? No. You dragged and dragged what you are supposed to do. And it's in terms of months, you ask me
check email or other things, im doing other things and i merely dragged afew mins and you are not happy??
What do you want to prove?
That your temper is ultimate?
You don't do what you said, you don't change your bad
habit, you are stubborn but despite these, father and I kept trying to tell you or advise you on these. But you
still didn't change.

Now in your brain you can only think about how selfish im and how good life are we. Did you ever try to change it?
No. Please, complain doesn't solve the problem but finding solution does. And what does it takes for finding
solution? Time, efforts, sleep. I gave these up for that extra things im looking for. Did you do that? Honestly
still no, you complain that you don't have enough education and we can study until so high. SO WHAT? TOLD YOU this
world is ****ing filled with people with degrees, if you really want to study, go ahead and study part time. Why
not? But you doesn't want to sacrifice your sleep and free time for these do you?

I had been doing full time and part time things for 4 years already, everyday with a few hrs of sleep, how good
life am i compared to a person with more that 8hrs of sleep? Every achivement, every rewards may look nice on the
surface, but had you ever looked at the story behind it? Every play, every cents you earn come with tremendous
efforts, but people often looked at the results only. Why must you be part of everyone? Why can't you look at the
story behind every success?

There are three birds on a railing, you took a shotgun and shot one of the birds down, how many birds will be left?
Two? No, none. The other 2 birds flew away upon hearing the sound. Look at things in a different perspective please.

If you want to go to Taiwan that badly, don't you want to tell me the timing first, so I can try to fix and do
whatever i can? Im telling you, im sacrificing myself for your sake, not the other way round. But no, I don't want
to change my starting date, it'll be another month that i'll be looked down by you. Though i don't feel what im
doing is wrong.

If anyone thinks that im having a good life, think again. What are the sorrows and tough times behind all these? I absorbed it and I can still have a happy face, thanks to my optimistic nature. I don't say my sorrows doesn't means that I have none.

--jiaqian-->